I Want to ...

A couple weeks ago I did a little race.  The emotional and physical aftermath was typical.  First exhilaration (so I took pictures.)  Then thirst (so I drank some water.) Then dirty (so I took a shower.) Then exhaustion (so I took a nap.) Then hunger (so I ate like a wolf.)  It was my last race of the season.  In the summer I do not race.  I work out. I travel.  It’s really hot.  I could race, but I really don’t want to.

My two weeks leading up to this race were a study in negativity.  There wasn’t a single workout I wanted to do.  Two weeks out the workouts are long and exhausting.  I did most of them with little to no enthusiasm, focused solely on finishing.  The final week, meant to be easier, was no better.  The week was focused on short, intense workouts.  I was focused on the short part.  I should have been eager to do the easier training, but I didn’t want to.

After the race I took Sunday off.  Monday I went for a ride with a teammate.  It rained half way through, and we cut the ride short.  I was disappointed.  I didn’t have to ride.  I wanted to.  Tuesday I went down to the pool with nothing in mind.  I just thought I would swim for a while.  It turned into my longest workout in months.  I felt great.  I didn’t have to swim at all, but when the warm Florida sun hit my shoulders and I jumped into the cool clear water, I wanted to.

I think it’s easy for athletes to get caught up in “have to” instead of “want to.”  I’ve gotta go for a run hides the words “have to.” There’s this feeling of obligation inherent in the sentence, a feeling of unwelcome requirement, effort, or work.  “Have to” is like my least favorite chore, weeding.  And if running is weeding, then it’s only a matter of time before I stop doing it. (You should see my garden.)

We create structures to help us through the “have to” moments.  We join a team or club so we have company.  We go to classes at the gym to provide variety (triathlon is a study in variety.) We hire trainers to motivate us.  My personal favorite is scheduling training with friends so I can’t skip a workout. And we sign up for races to provide goals and a natural finishing point.  All this is just a means to get our heads in the game, to turn “have to” into “want to.”

In the end, we “want to” reach our goals, but in order to do so, we “have to” do some unpleasant things.  Sometimes working out is actually work.  Sometimes it’s really fun.  Finding a way to flip the “want to” switch is the key to turning work into fun.  Maybe it’s as simple as changing how we talk about training.  I’m going to stop saying “I have to…” and instead say, “I want to…” 

I want to go for a swim, a run, a ride.  I want to go to the gym.  I want to sweat.  Wanna join me?

Rest in Peace, Nate

Nate

Today I pay tribute to the approximately 20 trillion gnats that gave their lives on my ride around the lake last night.  I know each of them was deeply concerned about my well-being and rushed to check on my status.  Unfortunately, they all underestimated the speed at which I was approaching and slammed into my face at velocities that made their survival impossible.  My sweaty countenance held their bodies throughout the ride and allowed me to transfer them, en masse, to their final resting place in the drain of my shower.

I want to acknowledge one special gnat, Nate, whose sacrifice is duly noted here.  Nate determined that I lacked protein and not only flew to my side, but directly down my windpipe in a futile suicide mission to fuel my ride.  It only took me about two miles to cough him back out.

I tip my helmet to these brave soldiers.  Rest in peace, Nate.

What are you Afraid of?

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." ~Jack Canfield

Once again, at a race this weekend, one of my teammates mentioned that she was really struggling with the question, “Why am I doing this?” on the morning of the race.  She was worried and afraid.  It wasn’t the first time someone had mentioned this feeling. I find myself writing about and thinking about fear a lot these days.  I know that the end of the race always reminds us why we do this, but lots of athletes have moments of doubt, dread, or fear on the morning of a race.  There are some good reasons why this happens and definite strategies for dealing with these emotions.

Why are you afraid? 

Fear of the unknown:  The conscious or unconscious understanding that events in a race are not within our control is a source of fear.  We want to be in charge of our own fate, but in a race, many elements are outside of our control. 

Inadequate training:  Experienced athletes know what it takes to be well-prepared for a race and they also know when that preparation didn’t happen.  No matter the reason, inadequate training usually leads to poor performance and disappointment.

Fear of pain: When we train there is a cycle of easy and hard days, pain and relief.  Not every training day is painful.  On race day, if we do our best, there will be pain, guaranteed.   

Forgetfulness and mistakes:  In a sport with seemingly endless equipment and steps to success, there is always the chance you will forget to do something important, especially as you become increasing “race drunk” and your brain is less and less functional.  It is in this state of exhaustion that we make mistakes.

Fear of the swim:  Do I need to explain this?

So what can we do about our fears on race day?

Embrace the unknown:  It is the unknown that is exciting, that is challenging, that is the point.  The only person you are racing is yourself, and part of being successful is managing the unknown.  Without the unknown, you are doing the race alone, in a pool, on a trainer, and then a treadmill.  Winning isn’t just about finishing first.  It is about dealing with the person that kicked you, the flat tire, the blisters.  This is racing.  Abandon your fear of the uncontrollable.  Love the unknown.

Embrace the learning experience:  If you know your training is inadequate, really feel this race.  At what point did things start to go badly? What parts of the race still went well?  Yes you’re disappointed that it didn’t go perfectly, but there is value in every race if you look for it.  Figure out what hijacked your training.  Learn something from your experience and adjust next time.

Embrace the pain:  As triathlete “Cort the Sport” says at her blog, invite the pain.  Every hard workout is an opportunity to practice dealing with pain, and I encourage you to work on this.  But on race day, accept that endorphins will only come through pain.  Satisfaction is the result of pain.  Accomplishment is revealed through pain.  The road you must walk to achieve your goals is Agony Avenue.  Accept it fully.

Embrace the errors:  I can’t ever remember a perfect race.  This weekend I forgot to leave out my socks and ended up racing sockless.  (Actually it wasn’t too bad, but if I had ripped up my feet, I would have been kicking myself.)  On race morning take out your plan and double check it.  (Don’t have a race plan?  Write one!) Rehearse your plan, over and over.  Make it so much a part of you, that transitions are mindless.  And when you recover, later that day or the next morning, review the race again, revise the plan, and never make those mistakes again. 

Embrace the water:  You were born from water.  It is your mother.  It is life.  You do not need to swim faster than gators or sharks.  You just need to swim faster than one other person.  Just keep swimming.  Period.

 

I have played a dozen or so sports in my lifetime, and whether it is swimming or volleyball, bowling or ultimate frisbee, the key to success on “game day” is less about physical ability and more about what’s happening in your head.  The final hours are the ones that seem to mess up our heads the most.  We don’t sleep.  We feel sick.  We doubt ourselves and our abilities. We panic.  But if we can just get started, the fears drop away, the doubt disappears, and we are in it.  Our minds are consumed with the task at hand and our fears are destroyed by our reality. 

And it is in the end, as we cross the finish line, that we remember why we signed up in the first place.

We should not judge people by their peak of excellence, but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

 

From the Humans are Awesome Series. Fear.  Some profanity.