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| Nate |
Today I pay tribute to the approximately 20 trillion gnats
that gave their lives on my ride around the lake last night. I know each of them was deeply concerned
about my well-being and rushed to check on my status. Unfortunately, they all underestimated the
speed at which I was approaching and slammed into my face at velocities that
made their survival impossible. My
sweaty countenance held their bodies throughout the ride and allowed me to
transfer them, en masse, to their final resting place in the drain of my
shower.
I want to acknowledge one special gnat, Nate, whose
sacrifice is duly noted here. Nate determined
that I lacked protein and not only flew to my side, but directly down my
windpipe in a futile suicide mission to fuel my ride.
It only took me about two miles to cough him back out.
I tip my helmet to these brave soldiers. Rest in peace, Nate.
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